As a public service to those of you whose schedules are simply too busy to watch your favorite Olympic events, (live or tape-delayed), fulfill your normally required daily activities, (vocational, social, familial and/or those related to personal hygiene), and try to keep up with all of the excitement of the Presidential campaign, I offer the following, up-to-the-minute summary:

From the Obama Campaign

• The overall economy and jobs in particular are rebounding, slowly and with a lot more needed pain and sacrifice, but hopefully before you lose everything, including ‘all hope’.
• Mitt is a money-grubbing, elitist dick head.
• Did you notice? I shot Bin Laden!
• FORWARD, (or one of the other directions)

From the Romney Campaign

• I can save you…just like I saved the Olympics in Salt Lake City…you know, where God lives?
• Obama thinks he can smart his way out of things…asshole! (Oh…and is it racist to say that he seems kinda uppity for a black guy?)
• Dancing horse? What dancing horse?
• MITT…it’s just fun to say!

From Congress (aka The Legislature)

• Legislation…what legislation?
• See you after the break.

I don’t know about you, but I’m on the edge of my seat; first up, the excitement of the discus throw; and soon thereafter, the conventions followed by the debates. I will be DVR-ing it all so I can fast forward through the dumb parts…which might just be all of it…except for the discus.