I’m guessing that in the flabby-faced, billionaire world of Donald Sterling, the Bentley, Ferrari, million-dollar condo and jewelry were the ninety-nine percent’s equivalent of a spring bouquet from the corner bodega. You know, an attentive gift indicating an expectation of first or second date reciprocal sex. So, the “shoulda paid her off” line, (delivered in his most remorseful, empathetic tone as he lumbered to his ride outside a trendy Beverly Hills eatery, newly purchased companion in tow), was obviously referring to some threat by V. Stiviano to go public with his tasteless remarks. Personally, I thought it was a weird comment. I don’t know that much about the guy, maybe he’s just weird, but he doesn’t seem to be concerned by anything he’s said or by anyone knowing that he said it. I’m not convinced he’s a racist either, (although he literally owns a lot of black men), but rather one of those afflicted mega-rich, (ala the Kochs, Sheldon Adelson, et al), who consider their economic station to come with its own set of personally tailored rules. If Don didn’t own an NBA team, his comments would certainly not be newsworthy and, as insensitive as they may have been, given that free speech thing we’re supposed to enjoy, even the NBA had to search for appropriate clauses in their by-laws to allow Adam Silver the latitude to ban him for life.

Reports of the Don’s potentially cancerous asshole, (metaphor?…I don’t know), set up one of the most uncomfortable press conferences since Nixon’s “I am not a crook” or Clinton’s “I did not have sex…”.  Blake Griffin and Chris Paul sat side by side, fending off shouted questions encouraging responses that would throw the signer of their gigantic payroll checks under the team bus.  They were both noncommittal and maybe a bit too restrained in not piling on as they expressed an appropriate amount of politically correct sadness for Sterling’s medical diagnosis.  Cut to Doc Rivers.  I can’t remember his words, but his body language said, ‘Fuck him and his bleeding, diseased butthole.”

I can’t wait for round two!