Although it sounds like an all-day, extremely painful dental procedure, the very rare “sporting event”, (37 years since it was last accomplished), wherein a stunted human straddles a highly inbred equine, beating him with a whip as incentive to run faster than the other little men aboard their respective horses, played out today amid pomp, circumstance and relentless and shameless commercialism.

Congratulations to the appropriately misspelled American Pharoah!  Oats all around!