Congress agreed to spend a flagillion dollars in order to keep the government open after taking every second, (actually, a few hours more than every second), of the three-week Continuing Resolution that reopened the government following its closure due to a stalemate on immigration reform. The record-breaking funding legislation, subsequently signed by a flaming orange asshole, once he received approval from Fox and Friends, has not one word regarding immigration.
Rob Porter, the White House Staff Secretary, resigned after being publically outed as a violent domestic abuser of both of his ex-wives and at least one ex-girlfriend. Aside from being aware of Porter’s history for more than a year, every talking head from the White House, including Hope Hicks, (his current potential abusee), responded with over-the-top praise of his intelligence, abilities and affable nature as they wished him well.
Chief of Staff, General John Kelly, weighed in on his thoughts about DACA and those that did not file for Dreamer status with open disdain, calling those who did not apply, “too lazy to get off the couch”.
Omarosa Manigault Newman, (how can she even be in the news?), warns, as a recent White House insider, “It is not going to be all right!”, in hushed tones on Big Brother.
Poland has enacted a new law making it a jailable offense to even discuss the country’s WWII Nazi collusion. (Note to Ryan and Mitchell: This is not a “Polish Joke”. Don’t even think about a parallel Speak-no-Russian-Collusion-Evil-Legislation).
Trump has decided not to release the rebuttal memo to Nunes’ ridiculous fantasy version. No obstruction of anything there…right?
After a year of waving his dick around, purporting that it magically makes the Stock Market soar to record highs, Trump has had no comment on the free-falling, historical drop in the DOW.
Apparently it’s treasonous to not cheer the words the President reads off of a teleprompter, even if he doesn’t necessarily understand them.
…and…I can’t wait to see the faux military uniform he’ll be sporting at the big 4th of July parade. By the way, there’s a rumor, (it’s possible that I’m starting it right now), that everyone…yes, everyone…will be required to attend or be deported back to some country of your ancestral origin.