I don’t know about you, but, growing up in the Midwest, I can vividly recall the anticipation and the counting of days between each April 1 and the next…Free Cone Day at the Dairy Queen. Ben & Jerry have changed the day to the 2ndTuesday of April, but, if the never-dwindling line outside of the Saratoga Springs location was any indication, the feeling has survived the years. In perspective, a 1950’s single-swirl DQ cost a nickel; a B&J’s single is around $1.20 these days and, even though ice cream is no longer the rare and special treat it once was, stepping up to that counter, after an hour-long, (well, year-long really), wait in line and walking out with that free cone…there are simply no words.
Spelling aside, the other Cohen in the early spring news is giving me that same giddy pleasure, and the only standing in line is by the plethora of legal and Congressional investigators that want a shot at him. Most accounts of the comeuppance of crime bosses have the common theme of being the result of an underling, who knows too much, being turned by authorities. TRUMP, the despicably-all-capitalized brand, in all of its self-aggrandizing, bullying, boasting, cheating, lying, molesting manipulations of the system, is a criminal enterprise, (allegedly), that has thrived in the relatively benign arenas of real estate and snake oil, (steaks, water, ties, jewelry, wrestling, beauty pageants, gambling, bogus education, reality TV), sales, until it bumbled into very nearly achieving The Brain’s raison d’etre…world domination. In barely fifteen months, The DONald, (you know that he gave himself that indulgent nickname, not unlike the time I told my parents to only call me Sonnybunch…jokingly of course…but it stuck?), has surrounded himself, (at taxpayer expense), with all of the trappings of any thuggish leader, while he chips away at all things good and wholesome. However, his consiglieri, a soulless nincompoop, who obviously bought into the too-corrupt-to-fail preachings of his nincompoopier boss, has amassed a written and recorded history that, now in the hands of seemingly competent prosecutors, could produce a new streaming sensation, Orange is the New Don, when DJT is moved, (hopefully in cuffs), from the White House to the Big House.
I don’t often revisit these crazy rants once I hit the “Post” button, but I’m already anticipating checking back to see if the free-cone glee, etched into my DNA, will be replaced by the moron-turns-state’s-evidence glee once a plea-bargained free Cohen realizes that “taking a bullet” is not his best option.