I’m glad that’s over, how about you?
I’ve been losing it all year
It’s still crazy all around us
And my deepest, nagging fear
Is
That we haven’t hit rock bottom yet
It haunts my every waking hour
As well as the few I sleep in a fetal position
As I tremble and I cower
At the boldness of the evil
That has oozed into our lives
And tarnished the joy we’re meant to feel
When kindly uncle Harry or Santa Claus arrives
The bright spots last year were few and far between
I know it’s not just me
Granted, I’ve been a despondent correspondent
But this is not how I choose to be
I’m ready for some sunshine
To put chaos down to rest
And embrace some genuine, no lie hop-i-ness
Because that’s when I feel my best
Y’think the Dark Side’s beginning to crumble?
Could the pendulum be swinging back?
Perhaps the pervasiveness of wrong is beginning to shift
And we’ll regain some of the mojo that we lack?
If that sounds like resolution crap
Rest assured, that’s not my style
The only promises that I care about
The ones that truly make me smile
Are those where we’re kinder and less cruel
Kumbaya my lord, don’t you know?
There’s no future worth pursuing on the path we’ve been on
So,
It’s time to let it go
And in case you’re la la la-ing or not paying attention
Or you’ve been hiding in a deep, dark hole
Here’s a too long list of couplets
Of 2019’s mostly fetid soul
•••
The mid-term election had some upsides
Nancy’s back in the Speaker’s seat
And
Susan Zirinsky was named the first female President of CBS News
Which was kinda, sorta neat
MacKenzie and Jeff Bezos
Filed for a divorce
He’s still the richest man on Earth
And MacKenzie?
She’s also filthy fucking rich…of course
Michael Cohen is doing time
Paul Manafort’s in a cell
Roger Stone’s being measured for an orange jumpsuit
To wear eternally in hell
Trump canceled the Russian Nuclear Arms Proliferation Treaty
Vlad must have hated it, I guess
Mueller Report/Schmueller Report
What a fucking mess
VA’s governor Northam posed in black face
Justin Trudeau also posed that way for a pic
A German man was cured of HIV
A stem cell implant did the trick
Japan landed a spacecraft on an asteroid
Sears is barely holding on
Notre Dame de Paris caught fire
And her beautiful spire is gone
El Chapo was found guilty
Not much of a surprise
Mostly stories about gun violence and that asshole, Donald Trump
Were winners of the Pulitzer Prize
North Carolina had to redo their Congressional election
The Republican candidate was a cheat
The Four Seasons shuddered its doors
Now, where are we going to eat?
Eight kids were declared winners of the National Spelling Bee
When they ran out of words to spell
Cardinal George Pell was sent to prison for diddling kids
I hope he gets diddled in his cell
Mario Batali ceded control of his restaurants
After many accusations of sexual abuse
Great Britain got their own shit-for-brains-bad-hair leader
Good god…what’s the use?
Terrorist violence ran rampant
School shootings were on the rise
Earthquakes and hurricanes, famine and drought
As waters surged beneath the Bridge of Sighs
The US has taken a pass
Ignoring imminent disaster
While many corporate heads and Republican dopes
Kiss the ass of their dumb, fat-assed master
Global warming will kill us
Gun violence will too
How can anyone with a brain
Think that what we should do
Is nothing?
Ooops…was I editorializing?
Wouldn’t want to come off as a hater
Traditionally, I try to stick to the facts
And save all of the ranting for later…
Austria has pulled back from its Neo-Nazi dabbling
Puerto Rico’s Ricardo Roselló resigned in disgrace
Harvey Weinstein paid $25M to some of his accusers
With a slimy smirk upon his face
Steve Bannon’s on the move
As the voice for the EU’s Right
Keith Raniere, the Nxivm guy…guilty!
Now get him out of our sight!
DT wanted a 4th of July military parade
The Joint Chiefs shut him down
But then he pardoned a convicted war criminal
Because he’s a shamelessly evil clown
Australia’s burning up
The Amazon Rainforest was aflame
The Iraqis stormed our embassy
Because they hate us…what a shame
Vaping and the Juul
It’s smoking…what the fuck?
I think the industry slogan should be
All You Gotta Do is SUCK!
There are burgers with no meat
Bread is gluten free
KETO is good or is it bad
Dietetically?
Hey…Fuckface…Greenland’s not for sale!
Mueller wrote a book
There were a lot of words but all I can remember is
“Barr’s a liar” and “Trump’s a crook”
The Nobel Peace Prize went to Abiy Ahmed
All of Donnie’s posturing did not deliver
So he woke up one morning and pulled our troops from Syria
And sold our Kurdish allies down the river
New immigrants are locked in cells
Asylum’s off the table
Trump has to flush his toilet 45 times
Because he isn’t able
To do anything an actual person might do
Maybe Rudy should do it for him
And while he’s at it he can wipe his ass
Like all the other imbeciles that adore him
Mitch keeps flooding the courts with judges
Most unqualified to belong
But they’ll only serve a lifetime
So, what could possibly go wrong?
World leaders laughed at big, dumb Donnie
He left the NATO Summit in a snit
Pantone’s color of the year is Classic Blue
I’m not happy, not one bit
Greta Thunberg was Time Magazine’s Person of the Year
The President lost his tweeting mind
The Inspector General’s probe of the FBI‘s Russia Investigation
Concluded it did not find
Political bias of any sort
Barr said he disagreed
Facts in support of that opinion
Were things he did not have or need
Aung San Suu Kyi, once a symbol of human rights
Publicly supported Rohingya genocide
Boris Johnson’s run to reaffirm Brexit
Won in an unexpectedly convincing landslide
Our Zambian Ambassador, Daniel Foote, was recalled
For speaking truth to power
About wide-spread corruption and the imprisonment of gays
Stay tuned! More bad news on the hour
Have you heard about Rudy and Ukraine
The Three Amigos or the Bidens
Or the irrefutable testimony after irrefutable testimony
As the impeachment inquiry widens?
I’ve been dumbfounded, I couldn’t look away
But, alas, the country’s cancer
Won’t be removed by our disgraceful Senate
So,
2020’s our only answer
Breaking News!!!
Congress filed articles of impeachment
A majority vote was reached
I – Abuse of Power/II – Obstruction of Congress
The ayes had it
HE’S IMPEACHED!
Entertaining?
The Golden Globes went to Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody
R. Kelly is a creep
SAG awarded Black Panther and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
With plaques they get to keep
I’m told, the Grammys happened
Oh yeah, they were a snoozer
Green Book was the big Oscar winner
Which makes every other film, a loser
The R&R Hall inducted Stevie Nicks, The Cure
Janet Jackson and Radiohead
Def Leppard, Roxy Music and The Zombies
And a few of them aren’t dead
Felicity Huffman plead guilty in a college admissions scandal
She went to jail for a couple of days
Placido Domingo left the Met amid allegations of sexual misconduct
The opera world’s seen better days
The Kennedy Center Honorees were Sally Field, Linda Ronstadt
Michael Tilson Thomas and Sesame Street
The funk master magicians, Earth, Wind and Fire
Who always bring the heat
The Hallmark Channel pulled an ad
That showed two kissing lesbian brides
But they were pressured to reinstate it
When many outraged viewers took sides
Streaming’s the big new deal
There are a million shows in my queue
I’m going to start binge-watching them later today
And I’ll get back to you when I’m through
Sports
Clemson crushed Bama to become national champs
Mariano Rivera was the first unanimously inducted to the Hall of Fame
Roy Halladay, Mike Mussina and Edgar Martinez were also voted in
For excelling at America’s Game
Osaka and Djokovic won the Australian Open
The Patriots…yawn… won Super Bowl LIII
Robert Kraft was caught in a sex sting
Hi diddly, diddly dee
Baylor women won the NCAA B-ball title
Virginia men won the title as well
Andy Ruiz stunned the boxing world
By ringing Anthony Joshua’s bell
Country House won the Kentucky Derby
When Maximum Security was DQ’d
Trump attended a World Series game in DC
Where he was soundly jeered and booed
Tiger won a 5th green jacket
The Blues won the cup in the NHL
The Raptors were the first Canadian NBA world champion
As far as I can tell
US Women’s soccer beat Thailand 13-0
They went on to win the World Cup
Bianca Andreescu overpowered Serena in the US Open final
So, for Bianca, things are looking up
Djokovic outlasted Federer in the longest Wimbledon final
Nadal beat Medvedev in Arthur Ashe
Eliud Kipchoge broke the 2-hour marathon barrier
Which was worth a pile of cash
The Washington Mystics won it all in the WNBA
They were in seventh heaven
The Nationals won their first World Series
From the Astros in game 7
Russia cheated at everything
Now they’ve been banned four years for doping
Maybe that will stir a new Russian Revolution
I doubt it, but here’s hoping
In Passing
Herb Kelleher co-founded Southwest Airlines
Blake Nordstrom ran a department store
Georges Loinger helped smuggle Jewish children from France to Switzerland
During the 2nd World War
Harold Brown was Carter’s Secretary of Defense
Moshe Arens was an Israeli statesman and Minister
Sylvia Chase was a pioneering TV newswoman
Reporting on stories uplifting and sinister
Bernice Sanders was the godmother of Title IX
Samuel Snipes represented the first black family in Levittown, PA
Michael Atiyah was a theoretical mathematician, connecting math and physics
Which may help or kill us one day
Patricia Wald was a Medal of Freedom recipient
And the first female Chief Appeals Court judge
Nathan Glazer was an urban sociologist
Who tried to give social responsibility a nudge
Lester Wunderman was the Father of Direct Market Ads
Dr. John Mendelsohn led MD Anderson’s research into cancer
Meshulam Riklis was a corporate raider who married Pia Zadora
He was a lover, not a dancer
John C. Bogle founded the Vanguard Group
For investing other people’s money
Lyndon LaRouche ran for President 8 times
And was categorically un-funny
Harris Wofford advocated for civil rights in the Senate
Ron Joyce ran Tim Horton’s doughnut shops
Edward Morrison was NYC’s deputy mayor
And helped John Lennon avoid the deportation cops
Tony Mendez hatched the 1980 Argo plot
To free the hostages in Iran
Douglas Costle helped create the EPA
He was the Protect the Environment man
Frank Blaichman blew up Nazi supply lines in Poland
Walter H. Munk was the Einstein of the Seas
Henry J. Stern was NYC’s Parks Commissioner
Who saw the forest through the trees
Morton Sobell was convicted with the Rosenbergs
Lee Radziwill was the sister of Jackie O
John Dingell, Jr. was the longest serving member of Congress
Before he had to go
Ed Zigler was the architect of Head Start
Raymond K. Price, Jr. wrote Nixon’s resignation speech
Carol F. Reich started a Brooklyn charter school
So she could have a place to teach
Wallace Broecker was the Grandfather of Climate Science
Donald Smith produced The Silent Scream
William Powers, Jr. wrote the searing, in-depth report
That brought down the Enron scheme
Tom Cade was an ornithologist
Who reinvigorated the Peregrine Falcon population
By providing homey and safe urban havens
For Peregrine Falcon copulation
George Mendonsa was likely the sailor
In the famous VJ Day photo in Times Square
Norman Orentreich was the Father of Transplants
So bald guys could grow new hair
Juan Corona was a serial killer
Dick Churchill was the last who made The Great Escape
Zhores Alferov’s Nobel laser research
Gave us DVDs to replace our tape
Jean Fairfax crusaded for NCAA school integration
Ogden R. Reid edited the Herald Tribune
Jerry Merryman co-invented the pocket calculator
One sunny day in June
Carmine Persico was the Don of the Colombo crime family
Joseph Boardman was Amtrak’s chief
James W. McCord, Jr. led the Watergate break-in
He was an asshole and a thief
Birch Bayh fought to lower the voting age to 18
Charles Sanna invented the Swiss Miss Cocoa drink
Jean Vanier used his foundation, L’Arche
To save people on the brink
Barbara Low unlocked the many benefits of penicillin
Jean-Louis David was all about hair
Tejshree Thapa defended human rights in SE Asia
When the world just didn’t care
Harry Hughes tackled corruption as Maryland’s guv
Marian Sulzberger Heiskell used her wealth for NYC’s beauty
Rafi Eitan hunted down Eichmann
It was his passion and his duty
Charles Van Doren won the game show, Twenty-One
But he cheated to win the prize
Nils Nilsson was the Father of Robots
With those crazy robotic eyes
David Brion Davis contended that slavery
Was the very heart of the American story
John Lukacs laid bare the evils of Hitler and Stalin
And the fascist march to glory
Michael Fesco owned the Ice Palace and Flamingo
Trendsetting clubs for gays
Henry W. Bloch set up offices in shopping malls
To do your taxes on taxing days
Damon Keith was a judge who championed Civil Rights
Art Kunkin founded The LA Free Press
Jim Fowler was the face of TV’s Wild Kingdom
He liked wild things…I guess
Ellen Tauscher negotiated the Nuclear Arms Treaty
Warren H. Phillips published The Wall St. Journal
Fleming Begaye was a Navajo code talker
He died a corporal, not a colonel
George Rosenkrantz developed the Birth Control Pill
Michel Roux sold Absolut Vodka, using celebrity friends
Nicky Barnes was called Mr. Untouchable, as a heroine-dealing kingpin
But this is where his untouchableness ends
I. M. Pei designed iconic structures
A pyramid entry for the Louvre
Mickey Kapp made mix tapes for astronauts
So spacemen could find their groove
Unita Blackwell was the first black woman Mississippi mayor
Claus von Bülow probably murdered his wife
Murray Gell-Mann unlocked the make-up of the universe
Providing clues to the origins of life
Karol Modzelewski was a Polish anti-communist leader
Who coined the Solidarity label
Leah Chase, the Queen of Creole Cooking
Put food on Presidents’ and Freedom Riders’ table(s)
Robert L. Bernstein founded Human Rights Watch
Curtis Blake started Friendly’s with his brother
Kary B. Mullis won a Nobel for developing DNA analysis
So you could be certain if your mom was your mother
Maryetta Dussourd raised the alarm against abusive priests
Dr. Henry Lynch discovered an hereditary link to cancer
Herb Sandler thought the corporately-unfiltered ProPublica
Was journalism’s most honest answer
Louis Levi Oakes was the last of the Mohawk code talkers
Gary Burrell pioneered GPS tracking
Mohamed Morsi was ousted as Egypt’s President
Because his morals and character were lacking
Luis Alvarez spoke up for 9/11 survivors
Mitchel Levitas edited the NY Times Op-Ed pages
Robert Klein studied kindness and the use of time
And wrote a primer for all ages
David Binder chronicled the Cold War and its aftermath
Barry Kowalski prosecuted the Rodney King case
Ross Perot was a salesman, billionaire, philanthropist
Who ran the Presidential race
Lee Iacocca developed the Mustang for Ford
And brought Chrysler back from the brink
Sarah was maybe the smartest chimpanzee
And just possibly the missing link
Philip Freelon designed the African-American Museum
Vincent Lambert advocated for the Right-to-Die
Christopher Kraft was the voice of NASA’s Mission Control
For space stuff junkies, like you and I
Andrew Dibner invented the first Medical Alert
Roberth Morgenthau was a nine-term crusading Manhattan DA
Marylou Whitney was the Grand Dame of Saratoga Springs
And I’m sad she passed away
Colin Palmer chronicled the African Diaspora
John Paul Stevens morphed into a liberal judge
Li Peng ordered the massacre in Tiananmen Square
When the protestors would not budge
Ed Westcott photographed the Manhattan Project
Dorothy Olsen was a pioneering WASP pilot during WWII
J. Robert Schrieffer won a Nobel for his research
Into what super conductivity could do
Fernando Corbató was the Father of the Computer Password
So it’s him you have to blame
For creating P/W’s you’re supposed to remember
That aren’t your birthday or your name
Mitchell Feigenbaum developed the Feigenbaum Constant
To give the chaos of Nature some order
Timothy Means encouraged ecotourism to protect
The Baja Peninsula on our southern border
Paul Krassner was an anarchist, prankster and Yippie
And published The Realist for non-mainstream news
Mark Kleiman was a proponent of legalizing pot
For when you’re sick or have the blues
Béji Caïd Essebsi pressed for Tunisian democracy as President
David Koch was an ultra-right-wing creep
Barron Hilton was that hotel guy
Who gave travelers a place to sleep
Hector Figueroa led the Fight for 15
Ferdinand Piëch ruthlessly headed Volkswagen
Vivian Paley encouraged storytelling as a creative outlet
For every kid to use his or her noggin
Donald Klein was the Father of Psychopharmacology
You know, drugs to alter your mind
Richard Booth was the King of Used Books
And he collected almost every kind
Lois Wille won Pulitzers for journalism
Frances Crowe was a peace activist/war resister
Beverly Sackler was the Purdue Pharmaceutical matriarch
Who may have hooked your brother or your sister
Jeffrey Epstein was a scumbag child molester
He hung himself in jail
Too easy a fate for him and his slimy friends
Who lived way beyond the pale
Dr. John Hansen worked to expand bone marrow donors
Gerard O’Neill helped nab Whitey Bulger from the Boston Globe
James R. Leavelle was accompanying Oswald when he got shot
But was found blameless in an IA police probe
Danny Cohen invented the flight simulator
Internet telephony and on-line dating
Pal Benko gave his 1970 World Chess Championship spot to Bobby Fischer
Which led to Bobby’s prolific check mating
Jack Perkins reported on Civil Rights and Viet Nam
He hosted NBC’s Biography too
Leslie Gelb led the team that compiled the Pentagon Papers
Which proved to be unimaginably true
Edda Servi Machlin was the Queen of Italian/Jewish Cuisine
Robert Mugabe was Zimbabwe’s leader
Dr. Janette Sherman was an early force in environmental science
Too bad she’s gone, we really need her
Dawda Jawara was the founding father of Gambia
Sally Ford invented RED to help avoid InterNet congestion
Ruth Abrams was Massachusetts’ glass ceiling-breaking judge
Making equality a thing, not just a suggestion
Marita Lorenz was Castro’s mistress
Who claimed inside info on the JFK plot
Patty Abramson founded Women’s Angel Fund
To give female-owned businesses a shot
Ciaran McKeown started Peace People
Northern Ireland’s Troubles were his reasons
T. Boone Pickens was a ruthless corporate raider
Who corporate raided in all seasons
Marca Bristo advocated for the Americans with Disabilities Act
Maurice Ferré was Miami’s first Hispanic mayor
John Keenan led the Son of Sam investigation
Of the whacked out, dog-controlled slayer
Diet Eman harbored Jews and downed Allied pilots
Jacques Chirac embezzled and fell from grace
Robert Boyd helped Nixon get elected
By getting in Geraldine Ferraro’s face
B. J. Habibe ushered in democracy in Indonesia
Anthony Mancinelli cut hair until 108
William Milliken was the longest-serving Michigan governor
Of my politically misguided home state
Joseph Wilson contradicted W’s State of the Union
Then his CIA wife, Valerie Plame, was outed
Elijah Cummings represented Baltimore in Congress
And his patriotism was never doubted
Napoleon Chagnon inadvertently exposed the Yanomami people
He destroyed their indigenous Amazonian existence
Su Beng was the Father of Taiwanese Independence
Which still faces Chinese resistance
John Rothman created the NY Times Information Bank
Giving public access to archival news
Aleksei Leonov was the first to walk in space
In his hi-tech, space-walking shoes
James Robinson provided volunteer ambulance service for Bed-Stuy
Michael Coe was a Maya language codebreaker
Lee Botts devoted her life to protecting the Great Lakes
She was a giver, not a taker
Diogo Freitas was the Pillar of Portuguese Democracy
Mark Hurd was Oracle’s CEO
Of all the Medal of Honor recipients of WWII
Francis Curry was the last to go
Michael Armstrong led the Knapp Probe into the NYPD
Robert Provine studied, wrote and talked about laughter
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was a brutal Isis leader
I hope he’s burning in the Islamic hereafter
John Conyers, Jr. was a liberal Congressional icon
Josie Rubio wrote of living while dying
Jennifer Davis convinced large investors to pull support for Apartheid
Which changed things, there’s no denying
Werner D. Doehner was the last Hindenburg survivor
Carolyn Konheim fought for cleaner NYC air
Allan Gerson sought justice for the families of terror victims
When so many just didn’t care
William Ruckelshaus defied Dick Nixon
Gary Regan wrote mixed drink guides
William E. McCauley donated millions to City University of NY
So needy students could get free rides
André Daguin was a chef in Gascony
People traveled miles for his grilled duck
Paul Volcker was the chairman of the Federal Reserve
And he sometimes passed the buck
Terry de Havilland cobbled for the stars
George Lauer gave us the bar code
Danny Kronenfeld sheltered homeless families in NYC
At the Henry Street Settlement abode
Tony Brooker wrote early programming language
For some of the first computers we got a hand on
Mama Cax was a model and disability activist
Although she had but one leg to stand on
Baba Ram Das was a self-proclaimed guru
He taught New Age Enlightenment with LSD
He claimed to expand minds while expanding his pockets
But was a little too far out for me
Joseph Segel founded the QVC Network
So we could buy stuff on TV
Chuck Peddle designed the first chip that opened the world
Of personal computing to idiots like me
George Sakheim was an interpreter
At the infamous Nuremberg Trial
When Lenny Bruce got arrested on obscenity charges
Bentley Kassal represented him, for a while
The Arts
Bob Einstein was “Super Dave Osborne”
He was a ridiculously funny guy
Daryl Dragon was the Captain to Tennille’s…uh, Tennille
And I never knew exactly why
Aldo Parisot was a renowned cellist
And taught many more who’d aspire
Christine was the eldest sister
Of the harmonizing sisters, McGuire
Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show’s Ray Sawyer
Sang, Cover of the Rolling Stone
Dean Ford was the lead in Marmalade
With his sultry rock/pop tone
Ringo Lam directed City On Fire
Alan Pearlman was an ARP Synthesizer pioneer
Brian Garfield wrote Death Wish
To stoke vigilante fear
Pegi Young was Neil’s ex
She founded the Bridge School for the Disabled
Howell Begle founded the Rhythm and Blues Foundation
For artists unknown and fabled
Babs Simpson was a taste-making Vogue editor
Verna Bloom acted in Animal House and Medium Cool
Carlos Sánchez portrayed Juan Valdez
The Colombian-coffee-bean-picking fool
Mary Kay Stearns starred in Mary Kay and Johnny
The first family sit-com on TV
Jessica Tcherrpnine was a botanical artist
As exacting as she could be
Joseph Jarman was in the Art Ensemble of Chicago
A virtuosic woodwind player
Mary Oliver shed light on the natural world
Layer after poetic layer
John Falsey wrote and produced
Saint Elsewhere and Northern Exposure
Jacqueline Steiner wrote Charlie on the MTA
I hope poor Charlie gets some closure
John Burningham wrote children’s books
Mr. Grumpy’s Outing, Whaddayamean
Walter Chandoha photographed cats
So there’d be many more cats to be seen
Clydie King sang backup with Dylan, Steely Dan
Joe Cocker and the Rolling Stones
Carol Channing was a Broadway icon for over 75 years
Because theater was in her bones
Bonnie Guitar was a ground-breaking singer/songwriter
Jo Andres choreographed experimental dance
Lorna Doom played bass for the punk rock Germs
By design, not simply by chance
Mark Urman was a champion of independent films
Reggie Young played studio guitar
Patricia McBride Lousada was one of Balanchine’s original ballerinas
Who spent a lifetime at the barre
Kaye Ballard was simply delightful
She had a streak for being funny
Jean Guillou was a classical organ master
Both for the glory and the money
How do You Keep the Music Playing?
When Michel Legrand is gone
You embrace the many gifts he left behind
So, his music will go on and on
And James Ingram who sang the song above
Left us way too soon
Yah Mo B There
Was my favorite JI tune
Russell Baker won a Pulitzer for journalistic humor
Margo Rodriguez was the Mistress of the Mambo
Oliver Mtukudzi was a master of tuku
In a Zimbabwean tuku combo
Jonas Mekas was the Godfather of Avant-Garde Cinema
Florence Knoll Bassett influenced office design
Bill Spence was a folk legend
And more than a passing acquaintance of mine
Julie Adams drove the Creature from the Black Lagoon crazy
Joe Sirola had an often-heard voice
Dick Miller was a B movie actor
Who was often Roger Corman’s choice
Rosamunde Pilcher wrote The Shell Seekers
Albert Finney brilliantly portrayed Tom Jones
Guy Webster photographed covers for The Mamas and the Papas
Simon & Garfunkel, the Doors and Stones
Harold Bradley played on thousands of Country hits
Robert Ryman’s paintings were mostly white
Heidi Toffler co-wrote Future Shock with her husband, Alvin
Although her credit was an oversight
Izzy Young was the guru of the folk revival
And proprietor of the Greenwich Village Folklore Center
John Mason pushed the boundaries of ceramics
And was a hands-on, wet clay mentor
Lili Wronker was a calligrapher and illustrator
C. Y. Lee wrote Flower Drum Song
David Horowitz was a TV advocate on Fight Back
Trying to right things that went wrong
Jan Wahl was a children’s book writer
Who worked with many famous illustrators
Tomi Ungerer was also a children’s author
And drew posters for protesting demonstrators
Ron Hutchinson restored sound
For old films, mostly on one reel
Ron Miller, Disney’ son-in-law, was ousted by a contentious board
How do you think that made him feel?
Mel A. Tomlinson was a powerful dancer for Alvin Ailey
The Dance Theater of Harlem and NYC Ballet
Mabel Lee was the Tap-dancing Queen of the Soundies
In a much less PC day
Betty Ballantine helped popularize the paperback
U Tin was a Burmese master of the slide guitar
Beverley Owen played Marilyn on The Munsters
Mac Wiseman was a Bluegrass star
Bruno Ganz was an acclaimed German actor
Downfall, The Party and Wings of Desire
You could claim that Ethel Ennis was Baltimore’s First Lady of Jazz
But you’d be preaching to the choir
Kiyoshi Koyama edited Japan’s Swing Journal
Karl Lagerfeld was an iconic fashion designer
Bibi Ferreira was the Grande Dame of Brazilian Musical Theater
And there was hardly anyone finer
Peter Tork was a Monkee
Hey! Hey! You know what I mean?
Dr. Theodore Reuben wrote a book about patients, Lisa and David
Which became David and Lisa on the silver screen
Toni Myers directed IMAX movies shot by astronauts
Stanley Donen directed On the Town and Singin’ in the Rain
In the 60’s, there was a brilliant transgender soul singer
Whose name was Jackie Shane
W. E. B. Griffin authored more than 40 novels
Ken Nordine read his poetry to jazz
Dorothy Masuka’s anti-apartheid songs had as much of an impact
As anybody has
Fred Foster helped kickstart the careers of Roy Orbison and Dolly Parton
Dominick Argento’s operas were stylistically diverse
Mark Bramble wrote the book for Barnum
Which was anything but terse
Jeraldine Saunders; memoire was called The Love Boats
Inspired by her years on that TV show
Ira Gitler was an influential jazz critic
And I was sad to see him go
Mark Hollis led the Brit synth-pop band, Talk Talk
Katherine Helmond starred in Who’s the Boss? and Soap
Carolee Schneemann was a visionary feminist performance artist
Who gave other women artists hope
André Previn was a world-renown conductor/composer/pianist
His music had no bounds
And I was lucky enough to be invited often
To record his glorious sounds
Charles McCarry was a CIA spook turned spy novelist
Hugh Fordin recorded many a Broadway cast
Sid Sheinberg led the growth of Universal into an entertainment behemoth
Before his time had passed
Kevin Roche was a Pritzker-winning architect
Of the Ford Foundation and the Temple of Dendur
Michael Lynne helped turn the upstart New Line Cinema
Into a real box office contender
Peter Hurfurd was an acclaimed classical organist
Jan-Michael Vincent was an action movie star
Dick Dale was the leader of the Del-Tones
And The King of Surf Guitar
Jacques Loussier was a Jazz pianist who riffed on Bach
Edith Iglauer was Canada’s poetic voice
Vivian Cherry photographed NY street life
In black and white, by choice
Hal Blaine’s drums can be heard on thousands of songs
The Beach Boys, The Beatles and more
He could lay down a groove in any style
But was the master of four on the floor
W. S. Merwin was the poet of life’s effervescence
Marjorie Weinman Sharmat wrote Nate the Great
Johny Thompson, The Great Thomsoni, was a magician’s magician
In a prestidigitationally induced state
Al Silverman wrote Brian’s Song
Luke Perry starred in Beverly Hills, 90210
James Dapogny transcribed the works of Jellyroll Morton
So we’d know how the works of Jellyroll go
Okwui Enwezor was a Nigerian art curator
Whose installations were off the damn chart
Dan Robbins developed Paint-by-Numbers
So anyone could pretend to make art
J. H. Kwabena Nketia was an African music scholar
Genevieve Oswald curated the NY Public Library’s collection of dance
Rachel Ingalls’ almost forgotten novel, Mrs. Caliban
Became the the Oscar-winning The Shape of Water romance
Richard Erdman played hundreds of characters
On TV and the bigger screen
Gary Stickells was the production manager
For both Paul McCartney and Queen
David White was a member of Danny and the Juniors
He wrote, At the Hop
Peggy Lipton was married to Quincy Jones
And played a Mod Squad TV cop
John Oddo was a pianist/conductor/arranger
And an all-around really good guy
Georgia Engel was quietly hilarious
She’d make you laugh, she’d make you cry
Jonathan Baumbach wrote experimental novels
Seymour Cassel’s thing was quirky roles
Transcending his Dallas character
Was one of Ken Kercheval’s long-term goals
Lawrence Rhodes was a celebrated dancer and teacher
Sam Palafian played tuba in the band
Mark Medoff wrote Children of a Lesser God
With words lovingly signed by hand
Steve Golin produced Spotlight, The Revenant and Being John Malkovich
John Singleton directed Boyz N the Hood
Bibi Anderson was a Bergman favorite
Because she was very, very good
Warren Adler wrote The War of the Roses
The movie was a box office hit
Jo Sullivan Loesser starred in Most Happy Fella
And married Frank because of it
Gary Stewart was a Rhino Records exec
He championed the very popular “Boxed Set”
David Picker green-lighted Bond, The Beatles and Midnight Cowboy
And that’s as good as green-lighting can get
Peter Mayhew played Chewbacca
He was Han Solo’s film friend
Fay McKenzie had a 100-year career as a singer and actress
And she worked ‘til the very end
Marilyn Mason was a world-renown organist
Les Murray was Australia’s unofficial Laureate Poet
Sol Yaged was a mainstay NY jazz clarinetist
Man, that cat could blow it
Quentin Fiore Illustrated for McLuhan, Jerry Rubin and Bucky Fuller
Davide Winters danced in a West Side Story gang
Chris Albertson wrote a biography
About the way that Bessie Smith sang
Doreen Spooner was a gender-pioneering British photo-journalist
Ben Heller was a champion of abstract art
Terry Allen Kramer was a five-time Tony-winner
Producing was her part
Beth Carvalho was the Godmother of Samba
Norma Miller was the Lindy-hopping Queen of Swing
Nurit Karlin was a brilliant New Yorker cartoonist
Without words, which was his thing
Chuck Kinder inspired Wonder Boys
Andrei Kramarevsky taught at the School of American Ballet
Verna Hart’s paintings expressed the rhythms of jazz
In a colorful sort of way
Alvin Sargent wrote Ordinary People and Julia
He won two Oscars for his writing
Jim Pike was the lead singer of The Lettermen
Who, in their heyday, were exciting
Doris Day
Herman Wouk wrote The Winds of War, The Caine Mutiny, Marjorie Morningstar
Judith Kerr wrote The Tiger Who Came to Tea
Robert Earle moderated TV’s College Bowl
Where kids could be all that they could be
Tim Conway was just plain funny
On McHale’a Navy and Carol Burnett
And Dorf, every time I watch a clip
I laugh until I’m wet
Machiko Kyo starred in Roshomon
Roger Hirson wrote the Pippin book
Everett Raymond Kinstler painted celebrity portraits
With a uniquely distinctive look
Jake Black wrote The Sopranos’ theme song
Tony Horwitz won the Pulitzer Prize
For writing Confederates in the Attic
About some sore-loser Confederate guys
Leon Redbone was a rapturous crooner
Tony Glover was a blues harp king
Henri Belolo co-founded the Village People
So he could dress-up like a cop and sing
Lawrence Leathers was a murdered, young drummer
David Esterly was a carver of wood
Franco Zeffirelli directed movies and operas
Extravagantly, because he could
Dr. John was called the Nitetripper
He was an ambassador and a fount
Of New Orleans hoo doo music
How much? The normal amount
Sylvia Miles was a flamboyant actress
Midnight Cowboy was her cherry role
Velvel Pasternak helped preserve Hasidic music
At the roots of Jewish soul
Lil’ Buck Sinegal was a Louisiana guitar slinger
Susannah Hunnewell published the Paris Review
Gloria Vanderbilt was Anderson Cooper’s mom
Among hundreds of other things that she could do
Charles Reich wrote The Greening of America
Elliot Roberts managed Joni Mitchell and Neil Young
Gary Duncan’s Quicksilver Messenger Service songs
Were psychedelically sung
Suzan Pitt was a wildly inventive animator
Billy Drago was a movie bad guy
Peter Whitehead made the film Tonight, Let’s All Make Love in London
If you saw it, you might ask yourself, why?
Judith Krantz was the Queen of the Romance Novel
Bob Dorian hosted old films on AMC
Charles Ginnever created public sculptures
Geometrically
Dave Bartholomew was a producer arranger, composer
And a NOLA trumpeter of note
Martin Charnin was a musical theater lyricist
The Annie songs were some lyrics he wrote
John Shearer was a Look photographer
He shot the turbulent ‘60s years
Min Hogg edited World of Interiors
And was lauded by her peers
Barbara Hunt McLanahan directed NYC’s Children’s Museum of the Arts
Sid Ramin orchestrated West Side Story, Gypsy and A Funny Thing…
Arte Johnson was a star on Laugh-In
Verrrrrrry Interesting
Max Wright was Willie Tanner on Alf
Jerry Lawson had a great a cappella voice
Jack Renner founded Telarc Records
To give music lovers a higher quality choice
Paul Benjamin was a character actor
In Escape from Alcatraz and Do the Right Thing
Johnny Clegg stood up against apartheid
With the songs and dances he’d bring
Ben Barenholtz gave us the “Midnight Movie”
Vivian Perlis founded the Oral History of American Music at Yale
Michael Colgrass was a composer/percussionist
Who received his Pulitzer in the mail
João Gilberto was a bossa nova genius
His music had no peer
Working on his iconic Amoroso
Was a highlight of my career
Rip Torn was an hilarious actor
The Larry Sanders Show, Men in Black
Michael Seidenberg ran a secret bookstore and literary salon
In his Eastside apartment, upstairs, in back
Valentina Cortese was an Italian movie star
Who sparkled in Truffaut’s Day for Night
Jerry Seltzer revived Roller Derby
So wild ladies could skate and fight
Artur Brauner was a Holocaust survivor
Who produced Europa Europa and Babi Yar
Alan Rogan was most rockers’ first call
As a tech for their guitar
Aaron Rosand was a virtuoso violinist and teacher
Russell Smith sang lead for the Amazing Rhythm Aces
César Pelli was an architect
For many iconic, skyscraping places
Ida Wyman photographed ordinary people for Life
David Hedison captained the sub in TV’s Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
Hugh Southern created the TKTS Booth
For ticket-bargain-hunters like you and me
Rutger Hauer was a snarky movie villain
In Blade Runner and Nighthawks
Russi Taylor is the voice that you hear
When Minnie Mouse, Huey, Dewey or Louie talks
Phil Hymes was SNL ‘s lighting director
David Berman led the indie-rock Silver Jews
Cokie Roberts was a veteran TV journalist
For ABC and NPR news
D. A. Pennebaker was a pioneer of Cinéma Vérité
Don’t Look Back and Monterey Pop
Art Neville played and sang with his Brothers and the Meters
Until his passing made him stop
Julia Farron was a Royal Ballet ballerina and teacher
As fine as she could be
Ben Johnston was a microtonal composer
Who had no use for middle C
Neil Estern sculpted monumental public works
Carlos Cruz-Diaz painted in shimmering hues
The world will miss Toni Morrison’s words
Her insights and her views
Anner Bylsma recorded the six Bach cello suites
Bob Wilbur was a disciple of Sidney Bechet
Lee Bennett Hopkins championed poetry for children
So, some children may be poets one day
Piero Tosi was an Oscar-nominated Italian costume designer
Peter Fonda was the Easy Rider
Katreese Barnes was a go-to NYC musician
And an SNL insider
Edward Lewis defied the Blacklist to produce Spartacus
Barbara Crane was a photographic master of illusion
Robert Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance changed the world
At least, that’s my conclusion
Ernie Colón drew Richie Rich
Richard Wilson created Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Myrna Katz Frommer collected stories for It Happened in the Catskills
An orally-fixated historical habit
Charles Santore was a TV Guide cover artist
Then switched to illustrating children’s books
Orlando Suero took celebrity photographs
That hung in many gallery nooks
Mario Davidovsky was an electronic music pioneer
Donnie Fritts made rockin’ music in Muscle Shoals
Valerie Harper was our friend, Rhoda
One of her most endearing roles
Takis was a kinetic sculptor
Brunilda Ruiz was an original Joffrey dancer
James Atlas was an ambassador of in-depth biographies
Who kept digging for an answer
Clora Bryant was a pillar of the LA jazz scene
Peter Lindbergh photographed super models in black and white
Rosemary Kuhlmann sang the part of mother in Amahl and the Night Visitors
On NBC one night
LaShawn Daniels wrote songs for Whitney, Beyoncé and Michael Jackson
Terrance Dicks wrote for Dr. Who
Jimmy Johnson listed producer, studio guitarist and engineer
Among the things that he could do
Carol Lynley was a child actress in Blue Denim
And Under the Yum Yum Tree
Francisco Toledo wove indigenous themes into his art
For all the world to see
Camilo Sesto was a Spanish, Pop Superstar
Stanley Love’s choreography celebrated joy
Robert Frank, (The Americans), wanted to be a photographer
Ever since he was a little boy
Peter Nichols penned A Day in the Death of Joe Egg and Forget-Me-Not Lane
Sander Vanocur was a TV news anchor
Daniel Johnston’s Indie songs and art
Were full of angst and rancor
Neil Montanus’s Kodak Colorama photos
Greeted Grand Central Terminal travelers for years
Phyllis Newman was remarkable
And beloved by all her peers
Eddie Money sang Two Tickets to Paradise
Mardik Martin wrote Mean Streets, New York, New York and Raging Bull
Alicia Alonso was a star of Cuba’s National Ballet
Her dance card was always full
Susan Kamil was a fearless editor/publisher
Of Salman Rushdie and Ta-Nehisi Coates
Mary Lyerly Alexander inspired Coltrane’s Cousin Mary
Although Trane inspired all the notes
Anne Rivers Siddons embraced her Atlanta roots
In her novel, Peachtree Road
Steve Dalachinsky was a poet
In an Avant-Gardist mode
Christopher Rouse’s compositions
Were equal parts delicacy and rage
Jimmy Nelson gave voice to Danny O’Day and Farfel
In a simpler TV age
Ric Ocasek drove the Cars
To rock-and-roll fame
Lee Salem published Cathy, The Far Side, The Boondocks and Calvin and Hobbes
But hardly anyone knew his name
John Cohen was a musician, photographer and filmmaking musicologist
He co-founded the New Lost City Ramblers string band
Betty Corwin ran the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts Theater on Film and Tape Archive
So, all that stuff would be easily at hand
Harold Mabern, Jr. was a beloved Jazz pianist and teacher
Bob Esty was the Disco King
Jessye Norman was royalty in the opera world
And I loved to hear her sing
Sol Stein published the great James Baldwin
Sid Haig played Captain Spaulding, with murderous intent
Rip Taylor was a flamboyant TV comedian
Whose antics were oddly bent
Robert Hunter wrote the lyrics to Uncle John’s Band
A mainstay of any Dead set
Wayne Fitzgerald designed the credits for Bonnie and Clyde and Footloose
To be as perfectly credited as they could get
Gianfranco Gorgoni photographed artists at work
Mary Abbott’s art was ignored due to her gender
Jimmy Spicer was an early, early rapper
And a usage and vocabulary bender
José José was the Mexican Prince of Song
Larry Willis payed Jazz and Pop
Mac Conner was a drawer of advertising cartoons
That were drawn to convince us to shop
Martin Bernheimer was the LA Times’ tart music critic
Karel Gott was the Sinatra of the East
Mordicai Gerstein illustrated children’s books
The Man Who Walked Between the Towers was a visual feast
Diahann Carroll broke the TV color barrier
To star in Julia in sixty-eight
Ginger Baker was the fabled Cream drummer
He was wildly, percussively great
Pierre Le-Tan illustrated New Yorker covers
Karen Pendleton was an original Mousekateer
Robert Forster directed me on Falcon Crest
When I had a recurring role one year
Paul Badura-Skoda was one of the most-recorded classical pianists
Stephen Swid purchased SESAC, the royalty collector
Bill Macy played the husband of Maude
Then became a well-respected TV director
Elaine Feinstein was an insightful poet, novelist and translator
Beverly Watkins played fiery blues guitar
Günter Kunert contrasted life in East and West Germany
And its permanently divisive scar
Anna Quayle played Eve in Stop the World, I Want to Get Off
I was Little Chap for one day
Phillip Gips’ movie posters for Rosemary’s Baby and Alien
Were brilliant, in a scarily creepy way
Jill Freedman photographed on the margins of society
Sam Bobrick created Saved by the Bell
Ed Clark was a pioneering Abstract Expressionist painter
Whose star rose and never fell
Milcho Leviev was a masterful studio pianist
Ray Santos played hot Latin sax
Walter J. Minton defied censors to publish Fannie Hill and Lolita
So, they wouldn’t fall through the cracks
Sally Soames shot photos in war zones
Kate Braverman wrote Palm Latitudes
Huang Yong Ping was a genre-bending conceptual artist
Who created conceptual, gender-bending nudes
Dana Fradon was a New Yorker cartoonist
Nick Tosches wrote celebrities’ stories
Like Dean Martin and Sonny Liston
About their tribulations and their glories
Scotty Bowers wrote the tell-all, Full Service
About being the Pimp to the Stars
Paul Berrere was a singer in Little Feat
And played both Fender and Gibson guitars
Emilio Nicolas, Sr. founded the Univision Network
Ed Cray wrote biographies of Woody Guthrie and Levi Strauss
Kadri Gopalnath introduced the saxophone to Indian music
So, there’d be some sax in the Bollywood house
Bernard Slade wrote the play Same Time Next Year
And created The Partridge Family show
Ernest J. Gaines wrote The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman
Just in case you wanted to know
Bob Evans was a flamboyant movie producer
The Godfather, Chinatown and The Cotton Club were but three
Of the battles he fought with famous actors and directors
And there were times he fought with me
Meyer Ackerman brought hard-to-find films
To his single-screen theaters in New York City
Maria Perego created the beloved Topo Gigio
Then she died…and that’s a pity
Al Burton produced TV’s Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman
The Jeffersons and The Facts of Life
Michael J. Pollard was the quirky sidekick actor who played C. W. Moss
In the film about Clyde and Bonnie, his wife
Ann Crumb acted in Anna Karenina, Les Miserables
And brilliantly in Aspects of Love
Rick Ludwin green-lighted Seinfeld
Which worked out when push came to shove
William Branch wrote, acted and produced
Black history shows for stage and TV
Jan Erik Kongshaug was an ECM recording engineer
Not inconsequentially
Marie Laforêt was a French singer and actress
The Girl with the Golden Eyes
Gay Byrne was a revered late-night Irish TV host
He’ll be missed, that’s no surprise
Robert Norris was The Marlboro Man
He made it look cool for us to smoke
And though he wasn’t a smoker he died of lung cancer
And that’s a cruel and karmic joke
Stephen Dixon wrote experimental fiction
Robert Freeman shot Fab Four covers
Gahan Wilson was a macabre cartoonist
Who appealed to dark, goth lovers
Frank Giles published the fake Hitler Diaries
His boss, Rupert Murdock, insisted
Frank Biondi was the CEO of HBO, Viacom and Universal
Among the companies I found listed
Shoji Sadao implemented designs by Bucky Fuller and Isamu Naguchi
Nick Clifford was the last of the Mt. Rushmore crew
Branko Lustig survived the Holocaust to produce Schindler’s List
Because it was something he was meant to do
Terry O’Neill was a celebrity photographer
He shot the Beatles and some others
Kehinde Lijadu wrote songs and sang of injustice and hope
To uplift his Nigerian brothers
William Loren Katz wrote history books for children
Filling in ignored African-American contributions
Robert K. Massie wrote Nicholas and Alexandra
About the czarists’ executions
John Simon was a curmudgeonly art critic
Marilyn Yalom wrote about famous wives and breasts
Jonathan Miller was an inventive British theater and opera director
Known for his fine, bespoken vests
D. C. Fontana went where no woman had gone before
To join the Star Trek writers’ table
Marion McClinton directed August Wilson’s plays
As best as he was able
Leon Cleobury led the fabled King’s College Choir of England
For a while, in old Hong Kong
Irving Burgie was Harry Belafonte’s friend
Who wrote Day-O, (The Banana Boat Song)
Clive James was a witty entertainment critic
British Telly celeb and poet
Howard Cruse depicted his gay experience in comic strips
When nobody else would show it
Joe Smith ran Warner Bros., Elektra and Capitol Records
Marie Fredriksson sang Roxette’s lead
If you wanted to produce hits like Charlie’s Angels and Fantasy Island
Leonard Cohen was the guy you’d need
Raeanne Rubenstein photographed Warhol and Parton
Philip McKeon played the son on Alice
If where you lived reflected your percussive prowess
Emil Richards would have lived in a palace
Ron Leibman won the Tony for Angels in America
And stood out in Norma Rae and Slaughterhouse Five
Rina Lazo was a muralist disciple of Diego Rivera
Back when Diego was still alive
Caroll Spinney was Oscar the Grouch
And millions loved him as Big Bird
Gershon Kingsley composed songs using Moog synthesizers
Pop Corn was one you may have heard
We watched René Auberjonois in M*A*S*H and Deep Space 9
Claudine Auger was a Bond Girl in Thunderball
Moonstruck and Purple Rose of Cairo were great films
Because someone gave Danny Aiello a call
Richard Eaton won a Tony for The Invention of Love
William Luce wrote Belle of Amherst
In the world of composing and teaching electronic music
Ruth Anderson was among the first
William McFeely was a Pulitzer-winning historian
And wrote biographies of Frederick Douglas and Grant
Anna Karina starred in French New Wave Cinema
Where she often played the aunt
Ken Heyman was a revelatory photographer
In the time of Life’s and Look’s populist glory
Larry Heinemann wrote a very personal Viet Nam War novel
The searing, Paco’s Story
Elizabeth Spencer wrote The Light in the Piazza
Johanna Lindsey was a best-selling writer of romance
Dalton Baldwin, among accompanists for classical singers
Brought his unique eminence to the dance
Arthur Singer, Jr. helped establish the Corporation for Public Broadcasting
Sue Lyon played Lolita as a fourteen-year-old
Don Imus spewed crap on the radio
Shocking…if the truth be told
Jerry Herman was a Broadway composer
He wrote Hello Dolly and Mame
And La Cage aux Folles just to list three
Which accounted for his fame
Lee Mendelson produced A Charlie Brown Christmas
Seen by millions every year
And he also wrote the lyric
To the iconic Christmas Time is Here
Sleepy LaBeef was a legend in the Rock-a-Billy world
But
If you were gigging in LA
And wanted to have the best time ever
You’d call Jack Sheldon to sing and/or play
Neil Innes wrote goofy songs
With the Monty Python crew
And then parodied the Beatles by starting the Rutles
To show what he could do
The year took its toll on the musical force
Right up to its final day
Sadly, the force dimmed one last time
Vic Juris passed away
Allee Willis was an artist
Creatively miles deep
Those who knew her and those who didn’t
Still have Allee memories to keep
In that place where you put anything
To cherish and adore it
Allee Willis walked among us
And we are, each of us, better for it
Sports
Gene Okerlund was the voice of Pro Wrestling
Mel Stottlemyre was a Yankee ace
Bob Friend was a Pirates pitcher in the 1960 World Series
Who kept the Yankees in the race
Alice Dye designed golf courses
Gene Littler had the purest golf swing
Marilynn Smith was an LPGA founder
Ladies golfing was her thing
Frank Robinson was the first black MLB manager
And a slugger in his day
King Kong Bundy was a gargantuan wrestler
Who had little he wanted to say
Ted Lindsay was a Red Wings power forward
Forrest Gregg was an Ironman on the Packer’s line
Bart Starr was a football legend
And an imaginary friend of mine
Don Newcombe was a racial-barrier-breaking pitcher
On the Dodgers baseball team
Clearing the highest bar
Was Don Bragg’s Olympic pole vaulting dream
Eusebio Pedroza was a seven-year Featherweight champ
Cal Ramsey was the color commentator for the Knicks
Michael Doyle was a big time surfing champ
Who knew all of those surfing tricks
Harry Howell was a Rangers star defenseman
John MacLeod coached the Phoenix Suns
Rosie Ruiz was the disqualified winner
Of one of those Boston Marathon runs
Gino Marchetti was a Baltimore Colts lineman
Niki Lauda was a champ in Formula One
Pat Bowlen owned the Broncos and won three Super Bowl rings
And then, his time was done
John Havlicek was a legendary Celtic forward
He won eight titles in his day
Harold Lederman was a boxing judge and HBO commentator
Who always had a lot to say
Edwin Drummond was a climber, poet and activist
He scaled the Statue of Liberty for human rights
Pernell Whitaker was a four-division boxing champ
Who fought only forty-six fights
Bill Buckner was an All-Star first baseman
His World Series error was his most memorable play
Pumpsie Green was the first black player signed
Back in the very white Red Sox day
Jim Bouton was a Yankee knuckleball pitcher
He wrote the personally revealing Ball Four
Gerry Murray was a Roller Derby star
Who enjoyed rolling on the floor
Walt Michaels was a feisty coach for the NY Jets
Felice Gimondi won cycling’s Triple Crown
Harvey Frommer was the Yankee historian
Who wrote a lot of Yankee history down
Keith Lincoln was a star in the Charger’s only championship win
Mike Stefanik was a NASCAR champion and fan
Sherm Poppen was the Father of the Snowboard
Since snowboarding first began
Nick Buoniconti was an All-Pro Dolphins linebacker
Who championed sports medical research studies
Jack Whitaker spent decades in the CBS and ABC booths
With his other broadcasting buddies
Cliff Branch was a lightning-fast Raider receiver
Al Carmichael caught the first AFL touchdown pass
Davo Karnicar was the first to ski down Everest
Because his balls were made of brass
Howard “Hopalong” Cassady was a champion Lions running back
Brad Gobright was a fearless free climber
Harrison Dillard was a master of the high hurdles
And an Olympic gold medal five-timer
Bill Bidwell moved the Cardinals from St. Louise to Arizona
Wayne Merry was the first to scale El Capitan’s peak
Peter Snell was a record-breaking middle-distance runner
With an amazing winning streak
Masaichi Kaneda was Japan’s “Emperor” of Baseball
Ron Fairly was a Dodger star and play-by-play guy
Fred Cox was a Viking kicker who invented the Nerf Football
So you could throw a football in your brother’s eye
Al Bianchi was the Knicks coach and GM
Wat Misaka was the first Asian in the NBA
Jake Burton was the Godfather of Snowboarding
Who loved a snowy winter’s day
•••
Mortality’s a bitch
Aging makes me sick
They’re the carbon-based life form’s cosmic punchline
Of a humorless dirty trick
We come and we go, that’s pre-ordained
Maybe the Buddhists have it right
And our energy springs into some other being
Through a Karmically mapped insight
Or some other version of afterlife
Or nothing…that’s how I feel
I’m all about the time we spend right here on Earth
The stuff we know is real
And who we touch and how we love
The kindnesses we share
How we’re remembered is eternity
While the time and noise and glare
Is but the future moving on without us
Until a story comes to mind
Or a photo or a poem
Or some work we’ve left behind
Is shared, hopefully, with fondness
That we weren’t just here for naught
And we’ve added to the cumulative life force
By the things we learned and taught
If you live a full, long life
In your plus column, you may write
The names of those who made you fuller
And helped you through your darkest night
Tim Boyle would make my list
He was affably reliant
While his talent, like his heart
Were both lovable and giant
Ed Cherney was my shoulder devil
He got me willingly in trouble
And shared his unbridled depth of gleefulness
But alas
The magical Eddie bubble
Burst
But his smile and joy and art
Left a trove of loving memories
From Ed’s huge and kindly heart
•••
O
In case you’ve been wondering about me and Oprah
Things are going fine
Although I haven’t yet gotten her on board
With this brilliant idea of mine
I think she should run for President
She needs to take one for the team
And before you scoff, take a sec
This is smarter than it may seem
Who doesn’t like my babe, Oprah?
She’s smart, she’s rich, she’s kind
A philanthropic celebrity
You may look, but you won’t find
Anyone better to lift up the nation
Bring sanity back in play
Think about it…I’ll get back to you on this
But for now, that’s all I’ve got to say
Except
You should pick up a copy of jOel Magazine
It will tell you everything that you need to know
And because I’m a teaser, I’m only showing the cover
Which you can check out right below
Denouement
The ball has dropped
’19 is done
We had some laughs
We had some fun
But
Mostly there was chaos
A fissure in The Force
I’ve invoked his name enough
So
No need for redundancy
Of course
We have to make some better choices
If not, we’re clinically insane
And though the smiling and the drooling
Of the non-responsive brain
My have appeal
Like reality TV
This isn’t how Darwin imagined our species
Would one day evolve to be
We’re supposedly deductive
We have that special, free-choice mind
But we’ve too often chosen hatred and bias
Instead of simply to be kind
But that won’t cut it anymore
It’s brought us to the brink
Let’s all take an optimistic cleansing breath
And have a Universal Think
Our colors are all beautiful
We’re all the same inside
If you’re compelled to pick a god to worship
Pick one who’s anti genocide
And borders are all imaginary lines
Like imaginary wealth
Which seriously can’t buy happiness
Or gracefulness or health
But knowing that all the world
Is housed and clothed and fed
Should be the prayer we all kneel down to pray
Before we go to bed
Easily said for a rhymer
Preachy, I admit
The alternative, sadly, is a new 366-day year
Of more of the same old shit
•••
Hunger is still, sadly, all around
It weighs heavy on my ‘tude
So, as is my tradition
I’ve made a lovable donation in all of your names to
Project Angel Food