I’m conflicted.  I was sure I was a 100% free speech guy.  Go ahead!  Say whatever you want!  Call me names!  Sticks and stones and all that, don’t you know?  But…when a man…or a woman…says things that have dire consequences, there is a need for an addendum to the Constitution.  When the President of the United States lies about his crowd size or his brain power or the erectibility of his penis, who gives a rat’s ass?  But when he lies about matters of national security, the influence of his debtors, the dangers of climate change or the lethality of Covid-19, someone should have the official authority to tell him to, “Shut the fuck up!”  This goes for all of his Mini-mes who repeat his dangerous lies as well.  There should be consequences.  Take away all of his electronics!  A week or two of Twitter prison might not alter his behavior, but just imagine the soothing calm it would provide the rest of us.  Oh, and inciting others to riot, plot kidnappings, arson and murder, maybe the Secretary of Shut Up could remind the Justice Department, (which would require shutting up Hermann Gör…I mean Bill Barr), that that’s already against the law.  I don’t mean to get too caried away, but Mitch McConnell, Mike Pence, Lindsey Graham, Jim Jordan, John Kennedy, (the cracker one, not the Marilyn Monroe one), Mike Pompeo, Tom Cotton, Ted Cruz…holy crap, I do want to get carried away because all of them, every ass-licking, un-American one of them needs to shut the fuck up and then get the fuck out!

My name is Joel Moss.  I’m a candidate for Secretary of Shut Up and I approve this message.