A candid interchange between the President and an aide while visiting the site of the devastating Camp Fire in Northern California:
POTUS: “Wow…the whole town of Pleasure, burned to shit.”
Aide: “It’s Paradise, Mr. President.”
POTUS: “Are you blind? It’s Hell! Coulda all been avoided if they’d only raked the forest, ya gotta rake the forest, like the Albanians do.”
Aide: “That would be the Finns, sir.”
POTUS: “Finns, schmins. No raking, no federal funds! Besides, they all got burned up, right?”
Aide: “Actually, they…”
POTUS: “And they were probably democrats.”
Aide: “I, uh, er…”
POTUS: “See if you can find us a Republican survivor to praise our quick response for saving his life.”
Aide: “It’s been over a week, Mr. Pr…”
POTUS: “Fuck it, then! It’s California. Everybody hates California. Let’s get outa here! It smells like Melanomia burned the roast again. Find me a KFC! I’m starving.”