I’m sure that there was a good deal of mockery when Alexander Fleming proposed his moldy bread idea as a game changer in the fight against deadly bacterial infection, so, as much as I despise every cell in Donald Trump’s bulbous body, perhaps, and, to be clear, like him, I am certainly no doctor, it may be counter-productive to simply dismiss his big-brain rantings without, at least, a cursory examination.  Okay, injecting people with disinfectant or shoving an ultraviolet light bar up someone’s ass don’t need much vetting.  Hydroxychloroquine?  Well, that seems to kill more Covid-19 patients than it helps.  Remdesivir?  Nah!  Maybe Pence’s praying-it-all-away has some merit…balderdash!  But, The Great Idea or life-changing innovation doesn’t always come from the most likely source.  So much of human discovery has been the result of random happenstance:  fire; penicillin, (see A. Fleming, above); Velcro; popcorn; New York bagels, (boil then bake…genius); music, (don’t know who gets the credit for coming up with it, but way cool, right?); sport socks; pastry; the area rug…the list is endless. Anyway, I’ve had a little extra time lately and like all of you, I’m jonesing to get my gregarious freak on.  I’ve got some curative ideas on how to make that happen sooner rather than later…and I love to share:

• Everybody needs to smoke four packs of unfiltered cigarettes every day. The smoking age would be lowered to five to make sure our kids can legally participate. No self-respecting virus, corona or otherwise, is going to want to reside in the damaged lungs of a chronic smoker.  Have you seen those PSAs?
• Magic mushrooms. I just watched Fantastic Fungi and we should all get on the mycology train…besides, they’re magic.
• Time travel.
• The La-Z-Boy Microwave Recliner Recliner Deluxe…patent pending.  You know, the one with the Corona-kill setting.
• Scientology…there must be some reason that it’s a thing and it almost has science in its name.
• Reality TV, (you’ll have to bear with me on this one). Here’s the pitch. There’s this room in the White House.  Trump, (he won’t be able to resist this), his family, the Cabinet and all of his advisors, the Fox News anchors, Rush, Alex Jones and Mitch are sealed inside.  There are cameras and microphones to capture everything that happens.  It will be streamed, 24/7 on multiple outlets.  One of the people in the room will have tested positive for the corona virus. Of course, he or she does not practice social distancing and coughs, spews and sneezes at will.  There is a padlocked closet labeled “PPE”, that will require ingenuity and resourcefulness and an all-hands group effort to open, but it will be empty.  Everyone will get very sick.  Ivanka’s mascara will run.  Cannibalism is not out of the question.   Monitors on all the walls will play loops of Trumps denials, lies and bumbling and inept leadership.  No one will come to their rescue.  This macabre scenario may seem brutal, uncaring and inhumane…but I think, (and I caution, I am neither a doctor nor a psychologist), it might make a lot of people chuckle, thus, feeling better.

Just sayin’.