When you’re 3 years old, one of the funniest jokes in your world is, “underpants”. It’s hilarious and naughty and worth telling even if, in some unenlightened households, it may get you sent to your room. Off-color jokes have always been the funniest, (except for the ‘horse goes into a bar…’), maybe because of the real or imagined threat of reprimand. Surely there’s an element of embarrassed release at being unable not to laugh at “tickle your ass with a feather?” And, of course there are the funny names; Dick, Bush, Weiner, Schwarzenegger, Breitbart, Gingrich, (see how I hid Weiner in the middle to mask where I was going with this?), apparently perpetuated by generations of enlightened households that considered years of teasing to be character building. But, here’s the thing about jokes and comedy out in public as opposed to just shooting the shit with your close friends…CONTEXT.

If, Tracy, you’re going to threaten to kill your son for being gay in your sold out comedy act in Nashville, you should first of all know that it’s not funny and second of all realize you may be encouraging an audience member to run right home and try it out…it’s Tennessee, you weiner! If, however, you were showing your true color and using your act as a soapbox…fine; I’ll just add you to the growing list with Mel Gibson, Dennis Miller and Toby Keith and look elsewhere for entertainment.

And, Tony, I’m going to assume that you know that the Twitter and the FaceBook and most email is kind of a public access deal…well, I’m sure you know it now. So, what the fuck were you thinking about? I mean, I know what you were thinking about, but you’re a guy who’s supposed to be making critical decisions regarding public welfare and your adolescent behavior shows both a lack of control and an absence of judgement? I don’t really care about the dick pictures or the infantile sexting, (although I can’t imagine how your humiliated babe of a wife hasn’t Erin Nordegren-ed your ass with a 7 iron), as long as no kids were involved, (fine line I guess since millions have now seen your schvanz on-line). Even taking into consideration that our voraciously salacious media are the real bad guys in all of this, I have waffled on my feeling as to whether you should resign. At first, assuming no crime was committed, I thought you should ride it out. But you lied to Wolf Blitzer, for cripe sakes, and your press conference apology was just…creepy. Now, I think you should go. Mostly because I have friends named Weiner, (well, Wiener, actually), who survived relentless ridicule through their cruel tween years, (except for the tortured few who changed their names to Warner or Wine), to find a tenuous peace and acceptance as adults…only to have you ruin it for them.