We’ll probably never know if this week’s spy swap was a fair trade.  Do you think there are free agent rules and trading deadlines in espionage?  And why do you think Russia would need to go to so much trouble to create fake New Jersey suburbanites when they, (like everyone else), has an army of eleven-year-olds that can hack any intel they desire while simultaneously reaching level fifty playing 3D Tetrus®?  It’s possible that it was all about the cool two-plane switcheroo in Austria.  Isn’t that sort of thing supposed to happen on a rainy, fog-covered bridge over a vowel-less river in Czechoslovakia when nobody else is looking?  This deal was streamed live in HD, and I, for one, feel like so much visual information is going to ruin the suspense of the soon to be released movie starring Tom Arnold and Rosie O’Donnell.  Raise your hand if you think the whole thing was just ridiculous.

Any hands for the absurdity surrounding the free trading of sports stars?  I’ll refrain from my often repeated rant about obscene player salaries, (ooops, too late), and focus specifically on the freak show of LeBron James’ free agency frenzy.  Let me say that I am a sports fan, in general, and an NBA fan-atic.  So, it’s as such that I am deeply troubled by these deals.  LeBron is a remarkably talented basketball phenom and is, (was), the heart and soul of Cleveland, Ohio.  He grew up playing in Akron, close enough to spit on Cleveland, although he seems to have refrained from doing so until last Thursday evening’s primetime press conference from Greenwich, CT, (a location chosen either to be surrounded by his ‘peeps’ who also make the equivalent of $10K per shot or to be at a safe distance from the anger, disappointment and outrage of Cavalier fans).  Oh sure, it’s America and business and the weather’s better in Miami, (if you like sweltering humidity, hurricanes and oil-soaked beaches).  But, that’s really my point.  In America, those of us who were lucky enough to grow up with a sense of place and purpose, and who aspired to fame and/or fortune because of or in spite of the nurturing of our home towns need to be more mindful of our selfish pursuit of championship rings.  Certainly, things change and people move on.  Teams need to reorganize to seek out the best and eliminate players who don’t gel and contribute to their efforts.  But, LeBron James isn’t just a basketball player to Cleveland.  He’s the GM plant in Flint, or a steel mill in PA, and he just closed down because a championship is more important than all of that hometown and loyalty crap.  (Note to Michael Moore:  LeBron & Me).  He may very well accomplish his goal with his new friends in Florida, but the juice will never be as sweet as if he would have hung in with his real people from Shaker Heights and Sagamore Hills.